I remember, when I was little, I would always do countdowns. Be it the 100 days before Christmas, or the two years before my cousin's wedding, or even the last 15 minutes of a zoo field trip, I count and it has always been slow.
But anticipating for my graduation feels like a motocross at 60 miles per hour. I started with a hundred days and now I'm down to no more than 50. Time is all that I have and I'm beginning to to feel like I'm running out of it.
When I first entered the University, as a freshman, I said I cannot wait to finish school and work (not realizing I would have to plan everything once I get out of the gates.) I have all the uncertainties of being a newbie in a big university, not sure if I'll be able to finish the bunny race.
I can see the finish line now, almost. But I'm not ready to face whatever is across the yellow tape. I've heard many frustrating stories of crossing over. They say it is not ideal. It is very different from what someone might hope in the four corners of a classroom. I was advised to be ready for disappointments for outside is a dog-eat-dog world.
I have to admit I'm scared. I cannot believe I'm back to the feeling of a newb who is about to enter a world that might perhaps be out of my league. But when I look back, I realized that all the lessons I learned, the friends I made, the fun times I had, even the long hours at the library, endless quizzes, and terror professors contribute to what I am now. I would like to think I'm ready.
Apprehensive--yes I am. But I am looking forward meeting new people, learning new things, getting wiser, growing up, I guess, after this race is just another marathon. Why should I be scared? I might just be able to bag the trophy after all.
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